Most people think of the question "should I get married?" as a purely emotional one – "I love this person and want to spend the rest of my life with them," so I will. While love is undeniably a cornerstone of a strong marriage, focusing solely on emotional connection often leads to overlooking the significant practical realities that shape a shared life. A successful marriage isn't just about profound feelings; it's also a partnership built on a strong foundation of shared understanding, financial compatibility, and mutual support in navigating life's complexities. This is especially true for those embarking on or deeply immersed in medical careers, where demanding schedules, long training periods, and student loan burdens can add unique layers to the equation. Often, one partner needs to provide more support in the short or medium term, or significant sacrifices may need to be made as you navigate the rigorous path of medical school or residency. Before you walk down the aisle, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about these practical aspects to ensure you're both prepared for the unique journey ahead.

• Debt Disclosure: Discuss the full extent of each other's student loans, credit card debt, and any other financial obligations. Understanding the total debt burden is crucial for planning. If you're still in medical school or residency, be sure to discuss what that means in terms of payments once you're out of training. The payment amounts can be shocking, and it can be a real cause of tension if both of you aren't prepared for what's coming.

• Budgeting Together: Talk about how you will manage household expenses, including rent, utilities, groceries, and personal spending. Establishing a joint budget can help you align your financial goals. That doesn't mean all accounts have to be joint, but try to avoid a "theirs" and "mine" mentality with salary. Crucially, this also means making space for individual "fun money" or discretionary spending. Agreeing on a certain amount each partner can spend without needing to consult the other can prevent friction and allow for individual enjoyment. If one of you is diligently managing student loan payments while the other is freely spending on non-essentials without a pre-agreed system, it's going to breed resentment. Part of marriage is being a team, and money is a huge part of that.

• Savings Goals: Discuss your savings priorities, such as building an emergency fund, saving for a home, or planning for children's education. Agree on how much you'll save each month and where it will be kept, even during times of limited income.

• Financial Roles: Determine how you will divide financial responsibilities. Will one person manage the budget while the other handles investments, or will you share all responsibilities? There's no "right way" to do it, but both partners should always have access to all the account balances and budget. You can use apps like Simplifi or Monarch, which aggregate all the accounts and budget in one place.

• Retirement Plans: Talk about your retirement savings strategies and how you can start saving now, even if you're living on a resident's salary. Discuss the importance of employer-sponsored retirement plans and contributions, like employer matches in a 401(k) account. Make sure you're on the same page about when you might want to retire and what kind of retirement you want to have, and work together on those goals.

• Investing Strategies: Share your views on investing and risk tolerance. Decide whether you'll invest together and how much you're comfortable putting into stocks, bonds, or other investment vehicles. If you have different feelings about investing, discuss how you'll handle it, or discuss whether you might need to go to someone like a financial counselor to find strategies.

• Insurance Needs: Discuss the types of insurance you both need (health, disability, life) and how you'll manage these expenses. Ensuring you have adequate coverage is crucial, especially as you approach attendinghood or if you start having children. Disability insurance, in particular, is vital for medical professionals.

• Planning for Emergencies: Talk about how much you want to set aside for emergencies and where you'll keep these funds. Aim for 3-6 months' worth of expenses in a readily accessible account. If you both already have emergency funds established and plan to combine them once married, determine what the appropriate amount for the fund is (it may be larger or smaller than your current combined funds).

• Future Financial Goals: Discuss major purchases or investments you envision in the future, such as buying a home, starting a practice, or going on a significant trip. It's important to set these goals and work towards them together, especially as your income trajectory shifts from training to practice.

• Managing Financial Stress: Talk about how you will support each other through financial challenges, whether it's unexpected expenses or the stress of managing significant student loan debt. Especially while in medical school or residency, financial stress can be a real burden on a relationship. Your partner should be someone who can help ease the financial stress – even if not through actual increased earnings, then through support in budgeting, decision-making, or support at home during your demanding training.

After talking about all these things, you should have a better idea of whether you're on the same page financially, or if you have more work to do before you're ready to make that commitment together. These aren't just dry financial discussions; they are profound conversations about your shared future, your values, and your commitment to supporting each other through all of life's ups and downs, particularly as you navigate the unique challenges and immense rewards of a medical career. By proactively addressing these practical aspects, you'll not only strengthen your financial foundation but also deepen your understanding and trust, paving the way for a more resilient and fulfilling marriage.